Hearing Voices

Portrait of James Lord
(c) Alberto Giacometti, 1964

I know that I'm not the only painter who is pestered by nagging, often negative, voices in my head. As I stand at the easel, the voices might tell me "You'll never be able make this work", or "Nobody will like this".  If you'd like a truly revealing tale of a painter's internal voices, just read A Giacometti Portrait by James Lord. Lord writes about the turmoil expressed by Giocometti as he painted Lord's portrait. To quote from the book: "'Whenever the work is going well he announces, 'Just wait...I'm going to wreck it now.' Whenever the work is going badly he cries in panic: 'Your head's going away!' or 'It's lopsided again!'". 

Detail from Giacometti's Portrait of James Lord (above)

Years ago I heard the painter Walt Gonske confess that when he painted a really good painting, he felt anxious, because he was afraid he'd never be able to paint another one that good. And when he painted a really awful painting, he was also anxious, because he thought he'd never paint a good one again. It's not logical, but I can definitely relate! There is a lot of anxiety in confronting the empty canvas.

Painting by Walt Gonske

Sometimes the voices in my head can be helpful. I recall  sage advice from several mentors, whose words provide guidance in navigating difficult aspects of painting. Simple phrases stick with me, like "Squint down!", "Look for big shapes of color", "Find the pattern of the darks!", "See in three values", "Correct boldly!", etc., etc. 

"Les Bassacs Farmhouses"
8 x 12, Oil on Canvas
(c) Lesley Powell 2018

But the true goal is to be guided by one's own self and one's personal instincts. Philip Guston said "When you're in the studio painting, there are a lot of people in there with you--your teachers, friends, painters from history, critics...and one by one, if you keep painting, they walk out. And then if you're REALLY painting, YOU walk out." Amen.