Fear and Hesitation

I had a friend who coached swimming at the collegiate level. He told me that even the superstar swimmers would arrive at the pool for early morning practice, then pace restlessly around, putting off as long as possible the actual plunge into the water. I believe that there is sometimes a similar delaying phenomenon among painters. It was described very eloquently by James Lord in his book A Giacometti Portrait. Lord said this about Alberto Giacometti:

[Giacometti] seemed to be avoiding desperately the moment when he would have to start work on something new. He is so poignantly aware of the difficulty of making visible to others his own vision of reality that he must be unnerved by the necessity of having to try to do it once more. Thus, he would naturally delay as long as possible the decisive act of beginning."

Ah, yes. The "decisive act of beginning". That's a moment fraught with pain and danger. The legendary choreographer Twyla Tharp has written that it is the most fragile moment of the creative process, the time that we are most likely to chicken out. 

Lately I have been experiencing the discomfort of beginning. I have even chosen to clean my studio (usually the very last task of all) before approaching the easel. I have found that the best cure is to get outdoors with my easel, and paint my surroundings. Even if the subject is one that I drive by every day, as in the photo above. It's all about learning to see, and translating what you see with paint and brushes. Here's to overcoming the fear of beginning...